Skip to content

You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery Hardcover - 2000

by Richard Stengel


From the publisher

Okay, who was the first flatterer? If you guessed Satan, you'd be close, but according to "You're Too Kind," flattery began with chimpan-zees, who groom each other all day long. In fact, flattery is an adaptive behavior that has helped us survive since caveman days. It's in our genes.

Our flattery is simply strategic praise, and to illustrate its myriad forms, Richard Stengel takes us on a witty, idiosyncratic tour, from chimps to the God of the Old Testament (who craved flattery but never got it), to the troubadour poets of the Middle Ages (who invented the sappy cliches of romantic flattery), all the way through Dale Carnegie (flattery will get you everywhere) and Monica Lewinsky's adoring love letters to her Big Creep (faux insults are also a form of flattery).

Flattery thrives in hierarchical settings like royal courts or Fortune 500 boardrooms, and it flows both upward and downward. It is more successful when it goes downward, so be extra subtle when flattering your boss. Studies show it works best on those who already have high opinions of themselves ("Yes, that fellow Jones is very clever for perceiving how brilliant I am"). Flattery oils the social machinery of everyday life.

Stengel sees public flattery as an epidemic in our society and private praise as being all too scarce. Most often, though, flattery these days is just a harmless deception, a victimless crime that often ends up making both the giver and the receiver feel a little better.

In short, flattery works.

First line

Watch people watching chimpanzees at the zoo.

Details

  • Title You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery
  • Author Richard Stengel
  • Binding Hardcover
  • Edition First Edition
  • Pages 320
  • Volumes 1
  • Language ENG
  • Publisher Simon & Schuster, New York
  • Date June 8, 2000
  • ISBN 9780684854915 / 0684854910
  • Weight 1.21 lbs (0.55 kg)
  • Dimensions 9.55 x 6.44 x 1.03 in (24.26 x 16.36 x 2.62 cm)
  • Library of Congress subjects Flattery - History
  • Library of Congress Catalog Number 00027401
  • Dewey Decimal Code 177.3
Back to Top

More Copies for Sale

You're Too Kind: A Bried History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind: A Bried History of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
  • Hardcover
Condition
Used - Good Condition
Edition
Edition Unstated
Binding
Hardcover
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Burgin, Kentucky, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€4.24
€5.98 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster, 2000. Edition Unstated. Hardcover. Good Condition/Good. Used in good condition. Text appears to have markings. The binding is tight. Cover has some were, corner bumps and dings. This is an ex-library copy with the normal library markings . Dust Jacket has some wear, dings and bookstore/library stickers. Quantity Available: 1. Shipped Weight: Under 1 kilo. Category: History; Education. ISBN: 0684854910. ISBN/EAN: 9780684854915. Pictures of this item not already displayed here available upon request. Inventory No: 1561053672. . 9780684854915
Item Price
€4.24
€5.98 shipping to USA
You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
Condition
Used - Good
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Frederick, Maryland, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€4.78
€3.76 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster. Used - Good. Good condition. Good dust jacket. A copy that has been read but remains intact. May contain markings such as bookplates, stamps, limited notes and highlighting, or a few light stains. Bundled media such as CDs, DVDs, floppy disks or access codes may not be included.
Item Price
€4.78
€3.76 shipping to USA
You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery

by Richard Stengel

  • Used
  • good
  • Hardcover
Condition
Used - Good
Binding
Hardcover
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
HOUSTON, Texas, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€6.47
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster, 2000-06-08. Hardcover. Good.
Item Price
€6.47
FREE shipping to USA
You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
Condition
Used - Very Good
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Mishawaka, Indiana, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€6.48
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster. Used - Very Good. Former library book; may include library markings. Used book that is in excellent condition. May show signs of wear or have minor defects.
Item Price
€6.48
FREE shipping to USA
You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
Condition
Used - Very Good
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Mishawaka, Indiana, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€6.48
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster. Used - Very Good. Used book that is in excellent condition. May show signs of wear or have minor defects.
Item Price
€6.48
FREE shipping to USA
You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
Condition
Used - Very Good
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Reno, Nevada, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€6.48
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster. Used - Very Good. Used book that is in excellent condition. May show signs of wear or have minor defects.
Item Price
€6.48
FREE shipping to USA
You're Too Kind: The History and Practice of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind: The History and Practice of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
  • very good
  • Hardcover
Condition
Used - Very Good
Binding
Hardcover
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Hollis Center, Maine, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 5 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€6.54
€4.19 shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Riverside, New Jersey, U.S.A.: Simon & Schuster, 1960, 2000 Clean and tight copy. Hard Cover. Very Good/Very Good. 8vo - over 7¾" - 9¾" tall. Remainder.
Item Price
€6.54
€4.19 shipping to USA
You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery
Stock Photo: Cover May Be Different

You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
  • Acceptable
  • Hardcover
Condition
Used - Acceptable
Binding
Hardcover
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€7.24
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster, 2000. Hardcover. Acceptable. Readable copy. Pages may have considerable notes/highlighting. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
€7.24
FREE shipping to USA
You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery

You're Too Kind : A Brief History of Flattery

by Richard Stengel

  • Used
  • good
  • Hardcover
Condition
Used - Good
Binding
Hardcover
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€7.24
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster, 2000. Hardcover. Good. Disclaimer:A copy that has been read, but remains in clean condition. All pages are intact, and the cover is intact. The spine may show signs of wear. Pages can include limited notes and highlighting, and the copy can include previous owner inscriptions. At ThriftBooks, our motto is: Read More, Spend Less.Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
€7.24
FREE shipping to USA
You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery

You're Too Kind: A Brief History of Flattery

by Stengel, Richard

  • Used
  • good
  • Hardcover
Condition
Used - Good
Binding
Hardcover
ISBN 10 / ISBN 13
9780684854915 / 0684854910
Quantity Available
1
Seller
Seattle, Washington, United States
Seller rating:
This seller has earned a 4 of 5 Stars rating from Biblio customers.
Item Price
€7.24
FREE shipping to USA

Show Details

Description:
Simon & Schuster, 2000. Hardcover. Good. Former library book; Missing dust jacket; Pages can have notes/highlighting. Spine may show signs of wear. ~ ThriftBooks: Read More, Spend Less.Dust jacket quality is not guaranteed.
Item Price
€7.24
FREE shipping to USA