THE HOBBIT or There and Back Again [Collins Modern Classics]

The Hobbit, or There and Back Again (but nobody really calls it that anyway), a tale written some time ago by some J. R. R. Tolkien fella, is the story of a Hobbit who indeed goes there... and back again. You see, in the going of there, preceding the coming back again to the place he was before he went there, he came across many an interesting thing in the wild lands to the east (As well as the less wild lands to the west of the East, known to some as the West. There was also some northward travel, but we won't get into that in this review, or the next review for that matter, as the next review will likely have nothing to do with this review, making stories of the northward travels of hobbits of no use, but I digress. Back to the list I was about to list.), such as dwarves, trolls, goblins, a neat ring that most likely will serve no real importance in future adventures by Tolkien, wargs, eagles, a bear dude named Beorn, spiders, elves, some other guys, a dragon, a thrush, some ravens, some rocks, I guess, a wizard, various waters, treasure, glorious gemstone, and some other things that I don't care to recall. Anyway, the story is about Bilbo Baggins, a hobbit who does some stuff and goes somewhere (an unusual thing for a Hobbit, apparently, despite the number of books and movies and erotic fanfics based on the adventures of various Hobbits). Most importantly though, the book comes fully equip with two maps! TWO! Not one, not three, but TWO! Of course, I was reading the 70th anniversary edition, bought from www.biblio.com (sign up today!), so the number of maps may vary, depending on whether or not you're reading a library edition that has had numerous pages unceremoniously removed by children. Though, this version has the maps on the back of the front cover and front of the back cover (or would that be the back of the back cover?), making it a lot harder for me/children to rip them from the book to store in my/their stolen map collection. I figure this is enough for a review, so I'll stop rambling now. But I must insist the few of you who haven't read this book stop not having read this book and read this book! I read it and I have a (self-proclaimed) mental disorder (that I take lots and lots of sexy sounding medication for, much of which isn't legal or medication at all).

This book has one huge major flaw: There are NO female characters. I am guessing all the ladies are in Upper Earth and Lower Earth.