Five on Brexit Island (Enid Blyton for Grown Ups)

TOPICAL TRASHY TRIPE & ABSOLUTE RUBBISH … JUST LIKE THE THINKING BEHIND BREXIT:

AND A GREAT READ BUT BRUNO YOU ARE NO BLYTON

An appreciation by Phillip Taylor MBE and Elizabeth Taylor of Richmond Green Chambers

It's so nice to have another book out by Enid after her passing in 1968 when we had not even joined the Common Market thanks to de Gaulle. So, enter the world of children's literature with a new series of parodies which do not exhibit the cruelty and leftie comedy of the Comedy Store: five new Famous Five 'adventures' for Christmas and I enjoyed every one, the first being "Five on Brexit Island".

Enid's books are loved throughout the world and I remain a great fan to this day. The Famous Five have been "the perennial favourite of her fans" like me (and many others not so keen to admit their secret enthusiasm) so Bruno sees a way to make a buck or two with this gorgeous rubbish in 100 pages and 11 short chapters.

Now, in this new series of "Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups" (like me), we, too, can explore whether Julian, Dick, George and Anne, and Timothy the Dog "survive the ultimate test of their friendship: Brexit". Of course, they do as all Five books are always positive!

So, what is this story about as there are no tunnels in this one, or lashing of ginger beer? The author, Bruno Vincent, sets the 'adventure' on the night of the referendum and the Famous Five have "retired to Kirrin Island to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, fed up with the rancor of public debate".

George is rightly the 'absolute remainer,' (quite correct and just like Enid) whilst Julian, who is a 'Brexiteer, is tolerated because Anne cannot bear to go camping without him we are told (of course). Dick is just Dick apparently and politically incorrect. And Timmy, "largely apolitical but not keen on

cats or rabbits, joins them too". The rabbits were not available for comment.

Back to the 'story': "the night is tempestuous in more ways than one" says the author. "George has managed to rig up a satellite link with the mainland so they can keep abreast of the news, and they sit huddled around the fire, amidst some tension, as George's initial hope that the 'remainers' will triumph proves premature". Didn't we all- and what were you doing on the night of 23rd as I am sure we will always remember!

Then, we have that violent storm which is whipped up (as usual- no mysterious lights, though). The damage is apparent when, the following morning, George declares a new meaning for Brexit: Kirrin Island is "exiting Britain". Yep, she has finally declared the UDI she so often dreamed of, as Bruno says "that is, until the red tape becomes too much of a challenge and their happy life together is under threat". So we know where Bruno is coming from, don't we.

This does make the perfect Christmas present for anyone fed up with hearing Eurosceptic (who are they?) slogans that 'Brexit means Brexit', or "for that relative you're still not talking to because of how they voted"- go on, give it to them as a present, plus your own Brexiteering MP (and all members of the Cabinet).

Sadly, there are no great grandads in the book, or identical twins, but the best thing about it is the trip down memory lane. And for the wonderful illustrations by Eileen Soper which I adored then with the strange clothes and bearded old people. Now, I know I need to get out more but I was able to identify from each Famous Five adventure where the illustration came from and could name the cast if you need help!

And then we have Bruno's use of English (you are not really English are you!). We know that the BBC and librarians, especially in Ipswich will certainly approve Bruno's prose (nice big words). However, Bruno's writing does illustrate why Enid was so good - Bruno's vocabulary is so

much larger and complex than Enid's was which much more descriptive use.

But, of course, Enid's vocabulary was always so simple that it made the books what they are today. Even with the awful political correctness which has been brought in to protect all those groups Enid attacked without even knowing it, and certainly without the intentions.

The Five remain a timeless team but your literary initiative has brought a cheer to me this Christmas now the adult books are out as a reminiscence of my childhood over fifty years ago: and an antidote to the po-faced Brexiteer.

Thanks, Bruno, these stories are a good read and a wonderful reminder of times gone by… and, by the way, quite funny!