Finding the Boyfriend Within: A Practical Guide for Tapping into your own Scource of Love, Happiness, and Respect

Simon & Schuster. Paperback. 0743225309 Brad Gooch's take on the self-help genre is a self-described gay updating of Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl, and it's a sensible, straightforward--and welcome--addition to the field. Who is the Boyfriend Within? Simply put, he embodies "qualities we find attractive in ourselves but often imagine others to possess more fully, as well as ... dormant qualities we wish to nurture and grow." This growth process takes place through 16 "Awareness Exercises" that range from identifying the behavior patterns that might be keeping you from having a boyfriend to planning dates with your Boyfriend Within. (And before you crack any jokes, he really does mean dates--be they quiet evenings at home, neighborhood walks, shopping trips, or other activities.) Gooch's own inner boyfriend is a bit like a male version of Midge, the Barbara Bel Geddes character in Vertigo, a constant (but not flashy) source of "sanity, peace, happiness." But, he emphasizes, that's just his own--the love of your inner life may turn out to be completely different. The exercises in Finding the Boyfriend Within hold great promise for fostering self-knowledge and the cultivation of one's goals, not just in romance but in all aspects of life. --Ron Hogan --This text refers to the Hardcover edition. From Publishers Weekly In this guide for gay men searching for greater self-acceptance, Gooch genially advises readers to live every day as if they were expecting to entertain a dream lover for tea or dinner. The unkempt house, long a symbol of the bachelor, is a sign that the "inner boyfriend" is neglected. Gooch is not a psychologist. His credentials are based on having hashed out his own failed relationships and those of his friends over many brunches. Influenced in addition by therapy, his experiences in ashrams, the work of such authors as Rilke, Thomas Merton, Marianne Williamson and the Sufi poet Rumi, Gooch offers reflections on his own experience and linked "awareness exercises" that are meant to strengthen the reader's relationship with himself. In recommending what amounts to an automatic writing excercise, Gooch asks the reader to invoke his inner voice to learn the answers to recurring questions that may cause him pain (e.g., "Why don't I have a boyfriend?"). Other exercises suggest listing neurotic behaviors and "attractive qualities of the 'package' that is you." While Gooch may be given to unreflective acceptance of the prevailing gay cultural standards of physical perfection and an ideal lifestyle, his good-natured advice won't steer anyone wrong. Agent, Joy Harris. Author tour. Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition. books carefully packed and shipped promptly . Very Good. 2002.